so...do you ever feel like nothing can cheer you up but a glass of orange juice? Cause that is what i have been feeling like lately and now that i think about it.... I bet you are wondering what is so special about orange juice? I don't really know to be honest but I really like it and it makes me feel a little better. I can't explain it. It is just how it is.

This week I had to take care of people and i realized that I am too nice.

That I am foolish.

That I am naive.

I can't be bossy to save my life.

Sometimes I think people see a nice, sweet person and think to themselves, "oooh! lunch! Let's rip her to shreds and see how she reacts"

It's sickening

It's revolting.

And I wish I didn't feel bad every time I first start  to yell at people and be mean.

But I guess, at the end of the day, I don't really regret it.

I mean, I don't get mad everyday after all and these people do DESERVE It.

I don't know. I'm not going to change. I'm still going to nice. So freak ass murder me I am going to stay the same.... I like the way I am after all. I like being nice but...

I am not going to let people take advantage of me.

That is what I really wanted to say.

I want this sickening feeling towards people to go away.

I'm going to start getting ready for my vacation this weekend. Maybe I'll feel better once I start getting

pumped for it.

I'm not working this weekend so I'll have more time to chill which will be fun.

I have to get a care package together by this weekend for my sister which I always love doing because I love
giving her stuff.

OH! NEWS FLASH! non exciting news flash actually but I got a tank of gas for my car on my own with my own

money. ^_^. My car, Micheal Angelo,  is now all happy now! haha. sorry. i got attached to my car and gave

him a name....and emotions...and a gender. That's not weird at all... haha.

I finished Frankenstein a couple days ago. It's hard to read and I don't think it's all that scary but in the end, I really appreciated reading it.

My journal entry is going to take up a lot of space isn't it? sorry about that. I don't know why I typed it like this
but I did so it stays. I'm too lazy to change it. Have a good night world!

-Emily

I hope that you are getting lots of sunshine.

I hope that you are enjoying the thunderstorms as much as I am.

I hope that  when you see a little kid having trouble with something, that you won't come right up to them and laugh. That laugh that makes everyone feel like a fool. That laugh that makes you seem like you are superior to everyone else because you can do what someone else can't.  It...it just isn't right and I hope that you are smart enough to know that.

I hope that you never see your child as wasted potential when they actually are no where close to that.

I hope that whenever you see your child, you aren't trying to put them down. That you are actually trying to lift them up.

I hope that you never throw anything precious away.

I hope that when you get a job someday that you won't laugh when your boss yells at you. Don't cry over it either though.

I hope that everyday your friends are away that you are sending them a letter.

I hope you know that dreams really do come true if you work for them.

I hope that you know that the driving test is not that bad. Don't over react about it.

I hope that you know that  summer is lots of fun with friends and brother around. haha!

I hope that you wish my brother a happy birthday! I am making him cake!

I hope that you know my summer is all together pretty amazing!

How about yours?

I am in a super super happy mood so i feel really social. Me feelings social means a journal entry.  A Journal entry means some useless nonsense. Some Useless nonsense equals ME! ..so let's get started. ^^

~My mother came home from Spain last Tuesday. I am super glad that she did because she lets me not be afraid to bring out what i consider the best parts of me. The innocent, perky, and silly kid in me that is! I don't feel like i'm rushed or pressed for expectations or time. That is what i felt like while i was at my dad's and towards the end of my stay there, I was becoming a SOUR PUSS! My friends had to suffer big time and I am going to make it up to them. ^^
             ~Side notes
                       -My mom brought me home gifts. She got me this clay lizard thing, a really pretty spanish fan, and a candle holder that says something like 'When I count my blessings, I count them for you' in spanish. It was really cute. I got a T-shirt too but that's because my mother loved buying them and had too many. haha!
                     -I slept in my bed at my mom's house and after 18 long days, I finally got 11 hours of SLEEP! It felt sooooooo good. haha!
                    -I don't have an 11 O'clock curfew or bedtime anymore. I can do my homework late into the night just like used to. I do my best thinking at night, believe it or not!

~I am taking my drivers test in the next couple weeks. Mostly, because my mother doesn't want to drive me to work. Sorta has me and my brother peeved but whatever the feeling doesn't last to leave a mark.

~I saw another movie recently. I saw Angels and Demons upon my mother and her boyfriends request. (I am a bad person and go to the movies for the popcorn a lot of the time.) The movie was sorta a disappointment. It had plenty of action, good acting, and a nice twist but to me I never felt like the main characters had the upper hand EVER in the whole movie. After two action scenes where the main characters got majorly screwed over, you knew that was going to be the same throughout the movie.  I wanted the main character to have some coolness to him, and the main character just didn't have it. He knew how to make himself survive but that was it.

~After work today, I ate with my mother and some of her friends. Since, i work at Outback, I was able to give our table a 1/8th off of their bill. (There was eight people there so it was 1/8th off. In other words, 2 people equals 1/2 off, 3 people equals 1/3, and so forth. The discount really just got my dinner free. haha!)

~Tomorrow is Memorial Day and i am super excited. To be honest, Memorial Day is one of my fav holidays. Not for the whole veterans thing, but because I LOVE Love going to the Memorial Day parade in my home town and  Memorial Day makes me think the end of school is not that far away and that summer is starting. It makes everything seem fresh and free. That is the best way to describe it.  I feel proud to be an American on Memorial Day too. Usually i feel Blah when it comes to America but on Memorial Day, I wave that American flag like crazy. Also, me and mom have a tradition that after the parade we go and get ice cream. I don't know,  these things make Memorial Day really special to me. ^^.

~OH! OH! also, I am meeting up with one of my friends and having a picnic with their fam tomorrow. I havn't been able to hang out with my friends for a couple of weeks because of work so I am excited about that too!

~I am no loooonger a hobo. THROW SOME BALLOoOOONS! aka. now i have moooonnneeeey (but i really don't need it.)

~I am sending smiles. Have a good night, everybody!

Seriously,  I think i left it at school! I want to write something really coooooool in here but i don't know....my brain doesn't want to form complete good thoughts so umm....is random thoughts okay?

SEE!! SEE!!! that was a run on sentence. WHY?! and...'complete good thoughts' doesn't even have good sentence fluency....

Actually, now that i think about it, i have been acting like this since Orchestra. OH! OH! I got ice cream in orchestra today. I put M&M's, chocolate fudge, caramel, and sprinkles on it. yummmmmmmmmyyyyyyy. Do you think the ice cream is making me act this way?

But before that, My friend's dad actually dragged us out of school so he could take us out to lunch. He took us out to sushi and i was pretty silly eating sushi tooo! We got this sushi that had orange egg stuff on top of it and whenever i picked one of the sushi up, the orange stuff would fall off! It was really messy and when i tried to clean it up....I made it worse!!! The orange stuff got everywhere and the orange stuff would actually rub into the table and make the table dirtier! I felt really guilty. The table was a disaster so I apologized and everything. Oh, Thank goodness, the people like me there or I wouldn't have gotten away with it!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Umm...yeah. I think i'm okay now. My update is basically that silliness there AND to tell you these things...

-I had an orchestra concert yesterday where we recognized the seniors. I actually got really sad because i am really close to some seniors. School will definitely feel different without them.

-I want to burn out like everyone else in this teen universe but I can't! My school is a top school (not to say yours isn't either) but all my classes still have another unit to cover and all my teachers are going to give at least another 60 point test before the big final so...I still have to study and everything or else I'll get behind. argggg!

-Outback has become my third home. I literally work there 5 days a week. 4 to 5 hours each time. It stresses me out sometimes but i'm getting used to it. It isn't a bad job but I'm really hoping that i'm not going to get stuck back doing the silverware because the new roller is planning to quit.

-I saw Star Trek on my one of my friday's off. It was really good! I'm not a trekkie but I recommend everyone to see it. 

-Senior Skip Day....NO ONE was at school. I had fun running around the empty school parking lot. haha!

-I am a music crazy person. I always check out the free songs on itunes. I actually like the free song of the week. Under control by Parachute. ^^. I discovered the song below while at work. I run for life by Melissa Etheridge. I like it. Makes me energetic.

-I need some new songs to download! I have money to buy more songs but i don't know what to buy!

-Other peoples drama is fun but I don't have any....  GO ME! haha. My friends are major drama freaks right now but i am not joining the club. Makes life easier.

-My mother is coming home from Spain tomorrow.  I'm really excited to hear what she saw, ate, did.   I'm really hoping she got me something other than a T-shirt. haha. I can't wait! I can live at both houses again. It really breaks up my flow of things living at one house.  I'm so used to living at two places.

-Today actually felt like a friday but it's monday. A little weird.

-So I am having a pretty good day so....I want everyone else out there to have a good day too!

^_^

To be honest....I forgot I had a livejournal until a couple of months ago when i looked at my bookmarks, and one of them said blob of nothing. Being the curious fox that i am I had to click on it and wha la! I magically appeared here. Impressive yes i know. In a couple of short minutes, I had deleted every single entry on here. I did it because who i was  is not who I am now AND even who i was at the beginning of the school year is not who i am now. I've gotten over the past and accepted that I can't go back and change it. That is why another reason I deleted the entries because i live in the present and I wanted a fresh start. That's not bad right? I don't think so and don't worry some things about me are still the same. Like, my favorite band is still My Chemical Romance, I still went to Projekt Revolution and was one of the best experiences of my life, I still hated my vacation a couple of years ago, I still love the color green, I still have my skull converse shoes which i refuse to throw away, I still play violin, and I still am a chocoholic.

Okay, the hard truth is this journal doesn't really have a purpose anymore. I'm not going to come on here and angst about  my life  half as much as i use to because it doesn't really matter.  If i get a creative spark, i'll "write" in here. It may very well be another 52 weeks before i post something here. This journal will most likely to be forgotten more than once. A sad truth really. I also will probably be the only one to read this. XP. So...some more useless stuff about me....

~My goals~
-Me, actually have goals is pretty special even if it is only three or four cause i didn't really have any before. Most are things I just want to do. Nothing that serious yet, nothing that will set my path in life. Nope.

(1) I want to improve my spanish AND learn german at least by the time next school year comes around.
(2) I want to go to England OR Germany OR anywhere in Europe. But those two places the most.
(3) I want to buy a Mug that has a old cartoon Goofy on it. (It is the coolest mug. I swear.) This goal has a part two and that is to go to Disney World/Land and buy the mug there. haha. This so has to do with the little kid in me!
(4) I want to move out of Michigan (though i do love Michigan, it has a terrible economy) and live in Oregon or Maine.
(5) Learn how to cook
(6) Get my driver's license. I'm 16 and I still havn't gotten it!

~My Inspirations~
People, things, or ideas that keeps me GOING!!! yeah!
-Banksy (a graffiti artist. If you don't know his work, seriously look it up cause it's impressive. Also, the fact that he does it in secret and with no 'real' identity is cool too. Clever art that everyone can see. ^^)
-Family and friends. DUH!
-Pixar/Disney. I am a kid at heart and Pixar films are not only nice to look at but nice plot, nice characters, and they make me laugh. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! which is important and fun. I go for fun. Nice visuals too.
-Tim Burton. His stories are original, twisted, unexpected, creative adventures that are fun to watch and see ideas come to life. ^^
-Calvin and Hobbes. They may be a comic but what they say in their comics is true blue. Besides that but the punch lines are always cute and off the wall.
-Music.

Rawr~! I have to go to work now. I work like 5 days a week which is INSANE! but i can handle it. OH! I work at the West Bloomfield Outback. Seriously, if anyone else other than me reads this journal then come to visit me. I get bored on shifts and I need some company even....if it is for a second.